


Fate may have pitted us against each other, but I will always pick you

by regular69



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, It started as a joke, M/M, Multi, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sadstuck, and they were ROOMMATES, but now im invested, dreamworks hire me to write megamind 2, lots of talking, takes place after the movie, they have sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:42:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regular69/pseuds/regular69
Summary: After the events of the Megamind movie, Megamind struggles with his relationship with Roxanne, and with his own personal feelings about being a hero. He eventually decides to talk to an old enemy about his problems
Relationships: Megamind/Metro Man, Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 84





	Fate may have pitted us against each other, but I will always pick you

What was I supposed to say? My lack of a proper education made the conversation harder of course, but it was really my fear that prevented me from telling him how I feel.

It was never going to work out with Roxy. After all the kidnapping and betrayal, she could never trust me. She was willing to try, willing to go out of her comfort zone, but I knew it was never going to work. It took awhile, after our breakup, for me to start talking to people again.

I was never good at relationships, I honestly don’t know why I thought it would work out with Roxy. She had always hated me. I’m just such a hateable person.

I should have talked to Minion about this, anyone really, but it hurt too much to even think about her. I make it sound like she’s dead. We’re still friends of course, and she frequently visits. 

But it’s not the same.

That’s when I started thinking. I’ve been a thinker from birth, I knew I could always think my way out of a problem. But then of course another issue arose. 

I started to fear my brain. So many of my inventions had been used for evil, and even though all of my friends insisted I had good inside of me, it took me a while before I started to believe them.

And that’s what led me to this moment. I know that scientifically, nothing could go wrong. But that’s the thing about me. Everything has always gone wrong.

I timidly knock on the old school house door (I still have trouble pronouncing it). There’s never an answer, but barging in would feel too… evil. 

Metro man was sitting on one of his white couches, idly strumming one of his guitars. He was wearing white sweatpants and not much else.

“Megamind?” He smiles at you with those perfect teeth. I subconsciously run my tongue over my own teeth. “What’s up little buddy?”

What was I supposed to say? I haven’t properly talked to him since… since I started trying to be a hero. There’s just too much. That’s the issue with having such a big brain.

I open my mouth and try to respond, but a sob-like sigh slips out. I’m so  _ tired _ . Metroman looks at me, eyes wide. It's embarrassing, really. I used to try to kill him, and here I am, crying in front of him. Thinking about how pitiful I am just makes me cry harder. Metroman looks lost. 

“Hey,” He steps towards me. “Uhm,” He awkwardly places a hand on my shoulder. I shrug his hand off. This is the worst possible outcome. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Metroman asks. I look deep into his eyes. He’s trying to be genuine. He’s as awkward at conversation as I am.

I sit down and he follows. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, voice weird from crying. “I wanted to visit, I didn’t mean- I didn’t think-”

“That’s your problem.” Metroman interrupts. “You think too much.” He chuckles. “I guess that’s why you’re Megamind.”

I cough out some sort of laugh at his joke. “Sometimes, I just wish I wasn’t Megamind.”

“I know what you mean. There’s a reason I faked my death and ran away.”

“But… I can’t leave metrocity without a hero.” 

“No one said we had to be the heroes.” 

“Even fate picks its favorites,” I mutter.

“Fate can be changed.” He replies.

“No, fate can be twisted, o-or manipulated. I may be a hero now, but my fate will always be for me to be bad. That’s why things didn’t work out with Roxy, that’s why I still can’t figure out how to be a good hero, and that’s why…” I pause.

“Why…?”

“Why I hate myself,” I hide my face behind my hands. Metroman doesn’t want to hear about my shitty life. The only reason he hasn’t kicked me out is because he’s too nice. 

I stand up and slowly start walking towards the door. How embarrassing. Metroman catches my hand and stops you from moving. I try to tug out of his grip, but we both know that’s a lost cause. 

He pulls you back down to the couch. “Tell me about what happened with Roxy.”

And just like that, I start spilling. I honestly should have talked to someone sooner, but Metroman is the only person who I feel like really understands. He understands the pressure, and the fear of trying to be a hero. He doesn’t, however, understand the pain of being evil.

“You’ve always been good,” I whisper. “It’s a different feeling, when you’ve always been evil. I can’t help it, it’s like second nature.”

“But you haven’t always been evil,” He assures you. “Even when we went to school together, you tried everything you could to make those kids like you. Remember when you tried to cook popcorn for everyone?”

“Yes, and then it caught on fire.” I grumble.

“But you  _ tried _ .” He says. “That’s what I’ve always admired about you Megamind, you try. Every single time I beat you to the ground, you always stood back up. You always came back with a bigger and better attack for next time, and you always tried so hard, even though you always got beat.”

I suppose there’s some truth to his words, I just have a hard time believing it. I’ve been trying to figure out my purpose, my fate, even myself, for years. My whole life actually. “You’d really think I’d have myself figured out by now.” I chuckle to myself.

“Imagine how boring it would be, to have yourself figured out.” Metroman scoffs. “That’s what happened to me. Everything was… too perfect. Too boring. So I became Musicman!” He picks up his guitar and starts playing a few chords quietly. “Trying to figure out your destiny is an impossible task, you’ll drive yourself mad trying to do that.”

“Then… what should I do?”

“Live in the moment! Do what makes you happy! Forget about Roxy, about Titan, even about Metro City.”

“I could never-”

“You could always live down here with me.” He refers to his bunker under the old school house. “To be honest, it gets a little lonely.”

“Who would take care of Metrocity? Or Minion? Or Roxy-?”

“They can all take care of themselves. Sometimes Megamind, you can’t save everyone. You just need to save yourself.” He looks me up and down. “And by the looks of it, you could use some help.”

I rub my face. It has been awhile since I’d had a good night's sleep. I’d been too busy thinking. “I’ll… stay down here for a little bit. While I compose my thoughts.”

Metroman grins at that, playing a final chord on his guitar and putting it down. “Whatever you say…” 

I go back to my secret lair to gather some things and inform Minion of my plan. I was tempted not to tell him, to keep it a secret and just run away and fake my death like Metroman, but no. That would be evil.

“Hey little buddy,” Metroman says as I return to his bunker with a suitcase. “You really okay with doing this?”

“It’s just a little vacation,” I tell him. “Do you have a spare room where I could put some of my things?”

“You can just put them in my room.” He says. “I don’t have an extra bed, so you can share with me. It’s a king size, don’t worry.”

“Could I- Couldn’t I sleep on the couch?” 

He looks at you weird. “The bed is more comfortable though?”

I don’t know what to say. It feels so intimate to share his bed. I never even shared a bed with Roxy. Metroman can see the worry on your face. He chuckles. “You can sleep on the couch,” He assures you.

It only takes a few nights before I start sharing a bed with Metroman. He was right, the couch was not comfortable, and his bed was pretty big. But as the week progressed, I found myself becoming closer to Metroman. Of course, I knew this was going to happen. Sharing any sort of living area with someone will always result in some sort of friendship. I just didn’t expect the friendship to evolve.

First of all, Metroman never wears real clothes. I saw him in sweatpants with no shirt, in a shirt with no pants, plenty of robes, and twice I saw him in a skirt. His muscles are so well defined, and his body is, well, perfect. 

Of course I was insecure of my own body. I’ve always been built like a dead twig, thin and bony. I truly believe Metroman could snap me in half if he so desired. But he doesn’t. He praises my body, almost worships it. He’s constantly complimenting me, and I can’t figure out if he’s meaning it in a romantic way. 

I learned that Metroman is not one for feelings. Sure, he talks about them. He tells me about times he’s been sad, or in love, but he never expresses it. He always has a smile on his face. That is, until he sings.

He did not start out as a good singer, I remember. He’s still not good, perhaps the one thing he’s not perfect at. But something about his songs hypnotizes me. It’s like he’s speaking directly to my heart. I don’t know how he does it.

I stay in bed until noon. I can’t figure it out. 

“What are you thinking about?” Metroman hands you a cup of tea. 

“I think I’m sick.” I tell him. I don’t know what else to call it. 

He puts his hand to my forehead, only making my sickness worse. “You don’t feel warm.”

“It’s excruciating,” I drape a hand over my eyes. “I feel nauseous, and my head hurts, and I feel too warm.”

“How long have you felt like this?”

I swallow thickly. “I don’t know. The feeling comes and goes.”

He lies down next to me. “Use your big brain. When does it feel the worst?”

I look at him. He’s shirtless, laying down next to me, talking in the softest voice ever with so much concern on his face. “It… it gets worse when I’m around you…”

I wonder if his powers have a negative effect on me. Or maybe he’s been slowly poisoning me, as a final attempt to kill you. As I start overthinking, he gently places a hand on your face. It makes me want to throw up.

“That makes the sickness worse.” I inform him. He quirks an eyebrow.

“How do you feel when I do… this?” He lowers his hand to my chest and I breathe in sharply. He chuckles. “I think I know what sickness you have.”

“I- what are you doing?” I say as he slides closer to me. His mouth is mere inches from my neck. 

“Trying to figure out what sickness you have. Uh oh, I think I’ve got it too!” He says with a laugh before kissing my neck. This is obviously shocking, but oh does it feel good. 

I don’t dare say a word. What was I supposed to say? Does this mean he likes me? Does this mean he’s in  _ love  _ with me? It never felt like this with Roxy, thought I suppose maybe that’s why things never worked out with Roxy. Could it be? Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

“Are you okay?” Metroman asks. “Are you overthinking again?”

“Maybe a little,” I whisper, too afraid to spoil the moment. “I’m trying to figure out what this all means.”

He laughs at that. “I just kissed you, and you’re trying to figure out what that  _ means? _ I think you should change your name, ‘Megamind’ doesn’t seem to match anymore.”

I feel my face warm up. “It’s all very confusing,” 

He snuggles closer to me, and I tense up. “Of course it is. We used to be enemies after all. A year ago, if someone had told me I’d be sleeping with my enemy, I wouldn’t have believed them.”

“So-” I try to find the words. “Does this mean you want to pursue a relationship with me?”

He knocks lightly on your skull. “Hello? Anyone in there?” Of  _ course _ I want to pursue a relationship with you, you big dummy!”

And just like that, my world flips upside-down. Metroman is so different from Roxy. He’s just so… big. I feel like he understands how I’m feeling before I even have to talk to him. I honestly don’t know how I didn’t fall in love with him sooner. It feels almost like we were meant to be. It’s funny how fate works. Not too long ago I was certain my fate was to become a villain, but as I lay tightly wrapped in Metroman’s arms, I know for sure this is my fate.

Fate had more plans in store, though. More specifically, Metroman had more plans in store. It was late at night, and he had me pressed tight against his chest. He was kissing my neck so softly, and honestly I had started to doze off. It was easy to fall asleep with Metroman, he made me feel so calm. 

He hand brushed my thigh and I felt my heart jump for a second. I wonder if he felt it too, some quirk of his powers, because he slowly moved his hand back to my thigh, gently caressing it. 

“‘S that feel nice?” He murmurs into my ear. I barely have enough voice to answer, and what comes out is mostly a whine.

I never got this far with Roxy, she never felt safe enough with me, and I was always so insecure of my body. Being an alien has it’s biological differences after all…

I suppose Metroman is an alien too, but he resembles human anatomy far more than I do (I accidently saw him leaving the shower once, and needless to say, he is very much human.

Metroman moves his hand to my inner thigh and sucks on the area between my neck and my shoulder. “Are you okay with this?” He asks.

“I- I think so. But you should know-!” I inhale sharply as he gives my genitals a proper grope.

“What should I know?” He asks, still groping. I don’t know how he expects me to think, or even talk when he’s touching me like that.

“There- There are some… biological differences,” I manage to spit out. “You are fairly human, while I’m… a little different.”

Metroman reaches into my boxers slowly. “Well, lets see what you’ve got then.”

If someone were to look at me naked, they’d notice there’s not much between my legs. It’s relatively smooth, with no protruding genitalia. Though, upon closer inspection, there is a small slit of smooth flesh. Metroman starts to rub the slit tenderly. “What’s this?”

“Nhg. I- it’s-” I can’t manage to say much. It’s been so long since someone touched me in this way. I feel the twist from my inside, and the tip of my tentacle-like penis starts to slip out.

“Oh, hello there little friend,” Metroman whispers. “Are you coming out to play?”

“Metroman, please,” I moan.

“Please what?”

I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment. “Please f- fuck me~”

“If you insist.” I can hear the smile in his voice. He rolls, so that’s he’s on top of me, and starts slipping off his sweatpants. My tentacle quickly finds where his dick is, and starts squeezing.

His moans are more beautiful than his songs. His voice goes low, into octaves I didn’t know exist. He presses his lips against my collarbone and starts sucking as my tentacle dick slowly jerks him. 

One of his hands follows my tentacle down to the source, the slit between my legs. He starts to rub around the slit, teasing it with his fingers. 

He mutters something I can’t quite hear. “What?”

“I was saying, if there’s enough room in that hole for your dick to fit, then there must be enough room for....” 

I look at him with wide eyes. “I- I don’t think it’s built for that much, uh, girth.”

He starts to press his fingers into the slit, tight against my dick. “Only one way to find out.”

It’s so tight and it’s so  _ sensitive _ . I could cum from this alone. But that’s not what Metroman has in mind. He scissors his fingers with so much precision I start to wonder how many times he’s done this before. If anything, I know he’s never done anything like this with someone like  _ me _ before.

“Tell me when it starts to hurt,” Metroman whispers into my ear.

It already hurts, but in a good way. He starts to add more fingers, making sure there’s more than enough room for his manhood. Never at any point do I tell him it hurts, because he knows the second I feel pain. He doesn’t even need mind-reading, he can hear it in my voice and see it in my body. 

He pulls out his fingers and I clench around nothing. I let out a high pitched whine, begging for something to fill me.

“Are you sure you’re ready for it?” He asks, caressing my face.

I nod, my throat not properly working. 

He pushes the blunt head into my slit and I have to stop myself from howling. A long moan comes out instead. I feel the head pop passed the lips, and the lovely stretch as he sinks home. It’s an interesting feeling, actually. To feel someone inside me. He touches parts of my body that shouldn’t be touched, and it’s a wonderful feeling.

“Metroman,” I whisper to him. 

“Yes my darling?”

“I love you,” I start to kiss him, and in between kisses I tell him. “I love you so much. You’re the only person I feel like properly understands me. And to think we were enemies at one point, ridiculous.” 

He smiles back at me. “I was just about to tell you the same thing.” 

He starts to pick up the pace, pounding into the already tight and sensitive slit. I start grabbing at his back, raking my short nails over his skin. 

“I- I don’t know how much longer I can last,” I whisper sheepishly. It hasn’t been all that long.

  
  


“Can I cum inside you?” Metroman asks.

“What?!” I say, mostly out of surprise.

“Please let me cum inside you.” He kisses my cheek. “Answer quickly.”

“Yes!” I blurt. “Yes of course!”

The moment I said that, I felt the hot liquid fill my hole and spill out around the entrance. The feeling of the warmth inside combined with the noise Metroman made was just enough to tip me over the edge, causing me to spill all over the sheets.

The two of us laid there for a moment, catching our breaths. Then, slowly, Metroman pulled out, providing room for my tentacle to retract. I get a good look at the scene. Metroman’s face is red, and he’s glowing with sweat. I imagine I look very similar, except I’m sticking with cum.

Metroman stands up and stretches, and I get to appreciate the fine scratches I left on his back, as well as a few light hickies on his neck. He puts on his boxers and leaves the room for a moment. I start to sit up, perhaps to follow him, when he returns with a warm, damp, towel.

“Shhhh, lay back down.” He presses a hand to my chest and pushes me flat. “I’ll clean you up, don’t worry.” 

He wipes me clean with the towel and tosses me my boxer briefs from the floor. He starts to remove any stained blankets, then looks at the sheets.

“How uncomfortable  _ are  _ the couches?” He chuckles.

I start to stand up and stretch. “They won’t be uncomfortable if you’re there. Carry me?” I hold my arms up in the air like an infant.

He sighs with a smile, but picks me up, as well as a few blankets for the couch.

It’s one of the best night’s sleeps I’ve had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> i actually got nauseous trying to write this. i was doing it for like, a joke, but no. i legitimately started shaking, i just could not do it. i have written things so much worse than this, and yet, this nearly ruined me. i feel like victor frankeinstien. i hope you sick fucks like this shit, cause it almost made me kill myself. hope you enjoyed <3


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